Ben Amiri loves money. Lots and lots of money. He wants it high in the sky. He wants to be rich na na na na na na na. He also says it is going to take a whole lot of precious money to do it right. He doesn’t want you to have anything because that will take away from his God given right to have it all. He is all about the Dow Jones, if you know what that means.
Dillon Diatlo would love to take you home. As long as you are a lady. And as long as you are moved by snapchats of his "privates" in one way or another. His favorite comedian is Andrew Dice Clay and he is relentless in his impressions.
Tessa Karel always and often eats, and sometimes, but rarely, cares what. Her eating includes an impressive rotation of fine eateries for every day of the week - Seagrade, Seafood Buffet, The Boss Hog, Pondergrosa,The Pancake and the Pod, Cravin' Asian, Flaming Fried and Fudge, and a weekly order of Moons over my Hammy with a side of chicken strips at Denny's on Sundays. She also proudly classifies herself as a "grazer," setting the world record for the "sprinting and snatching" category at the National Leftover Eater's Olympics in years 2009, 2011, 2012 respectively.
Nicole Antonuccio is too lazy to write her own bio. Slumber, slumber zzzzzz.
Greg Gillotti marches against the war, against anti-abortion, against anti-gay rights laws and in a ragtag artist community marching band as a kobza player every year in the May Day Parade. He wants you to come snap with him at a poetry reading sometime. He also wants you to dig into the earth, reconnect with your body hair, and appreciate all of the grains of dirt in a compost pile. He also doesn’t want you to throw that away. He will be make a drying rack out of it.
Travis Koury is always on time. He is never late. He is a metronome. He is the international date line. He irons everything. Most things unrelated to him are “unsightly.” He has once been quoted to have said, “If one day, I forget to shave, the next day, I’m just gonna shave straight through.” He even checks for dust on the fireplace mantle and railings like Mary Poppins did in that one movie.